Learning To Let Go
A few months back my husband and I were Skyping with our daughter Sydney, just having a casual conversation, catching up with how her life was going in Washington, when she suddenly caught us off guard. I knew what she was going to tell us was big, because she started the conversation with..."I want to tell you now, so you're not shocked...". That usually means that what she is going to tell me is going to upset me. She then continued and informed us that she planned on going to Bangkok, Thailand for 8 weeks during the summer to work with the ladyboys(prostitutes) in the red light district. At that moment I swear my heart actually stopped beating and I heard my husband say an immediate "NO!" When my heart did start beating, it was very fast and I could feel anxiety kicking in, but I knew I needed to remain calm and listen to her as she started to give us some details. I could tell how passionately she felt about this and that God was truly calling her to serve. At that time, May 29th seemed very far off and I just sort of tucked it away and went about my business.
Sydney came home right before Mother's Day and at that point she had not raised the money needed for the mission trip. I had prayed and was at peace with the idea of her leaving, but suddenly there was the chance that she might not go and it started up a mixture of feelings. The conversations going on inside my head were non-stop, with a bunch of what ifs that I kept trying to answer, but couldn't. By the Tuesday after Mother's Day, God had provided and Sydney had the necessary funds needed to make her trip a reality. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little anxious, but I prayed about it because God's word tells us in Philippians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Those two verses have been a mainstay for me for over 20 years and so many times I have found myself seeking out comfort and peace from the words.
Sydney has been in Bangkok now for about 5 days ( the 14 hour time difference keeps messing me up) and except for a couple text messages last Friday, I have not heard from her. This whole process has been an opportuntity for me to strengthen my relationship with Christ. Everyday, I have to let go and have faith that all is well. Some days are easier than others and I'm looking forward to hearing from her when she can.
Remember, anxiety is just God's way of letting you know that you need to turn your attention to him and when you do, he will guard you with peace.
